Hi All! Let’s jump straight into it. This week is the “Men Tell All” episode! Predictions: Chad shows up and somehow starts a fight with everyone! Let’s continue.
Chris starts the show off with Chad is here, and a quip about how security is too. The entire beginning of the show is basically just a giant advertisement for “The Bachelor” franchise. There was a lot of time spent promoting “Bachelor in Paradise”. Moving forward, the guys all get introduced, with the exception of Chad, who Chris says will be brought out later.
They focus a bit on the heat between Derek and Alex throughout the season. Alex regularly called Derek manipulative. Nick B. (St. Nick) however, steps in and defends Derek saying that Alex is manipulative and argumentative. Wells points out that Alex is a War hero, and since he’s spent most of his time in conflict, he probably feels most comfortable with it. The guys point out that Alex put more energy into taking down Chad than he did Jojo. Frankly, this whole nonsense is going to take up 100 pages if I write it all, so let’s just stick with key points.
Chad finally comes out, with a security guard. Chad calls the guys fake. We find out that Chad has actually gone out of his way to date Grant’s ex and Robby’s ex! Wow. Apparently, he seeked them out to specifically find out if the guys left them for the show, they said yes, and he has had intimate relationships with both. Wow dude. Wow. And then, out of nowhere, Nick B. tries to get into a fight with Chad? Not sure why. The only thing Chad keeps doing throughout all his interactions with the guys is cracking jokes about them and being generally intolerable. He even goes so far as to say that Robby has threatened his ex that if she does any interviews that he’s “going to come and get her” which the rest of the guys immediately call BS on. Chris asks Chad if there’s anything he regrets doing, and Chad, obviously, says no. Apparently, his mom would have thought everything he did on the show would have been funny.
Chris announces that both Chad and Luke will both be on Bachelor in Paradise. And time for Luke to come up! He says that he still loves her, but he just wants her to be happy. He mentions that Jojo taught him to love again and open up, but to have that and then having it end so suddenly gave him a lot of panic attacks afterwards.
Next up, Chase! He says he’s still in love with her, but confused as to why she offered him the fantasy suite if she didn’t want to be with him. That question will be answered when Jojo comes up! Can you see how they drag this on?
Jojo’s in the hot seat now! Luke asks Jojo if he had said I love you earlier, would it have made a difference? Jojo says that on the last date, he just wouldn’t say the word love, and that really bothered her, but once he said I love you, she felt maybe he was saying it forced and she just felt she had to stick with her gut. Chase goes up to give Jojo a hug, but then asks her his burning question. Jojo says she just felt anxious about hearing I love you from him, and there’s nothing scary about the words but that’s when she realized what she was feeling, and that she still feels guilty over it. James Taylor has his turn, and uses the time to tell her that she’s the whole package. Chad interjects here, and uses the opportunity to call out Robby for breaking up with his girlfriend for the show and to call Jordan a liar and cheater, but “wishes her the best”. The crowd starts cheering for her to go off on him, but she tells them that he loves the attention and she’s not even worth her breath.
Now the guys have the floor to say whatever they want to say to her. Alex wants to tell Jojo that even though it hurt, he’s glad she had the ability to be so strong in all her decisions. Vinny says that it sucks, that she canceled the cocktail party his last night, because he would have looked forward to some alone time with her. THEN, his mother pops up from the audience and tells Jojo that if she wanted a perfect guy, she missed him!
After that, they showed some bloopers from the show, and we’re onto next week, “The Final Rose!”
RB’s Psych Corner
I have to say that there isn’t much here other than either Chad is crazier than I thought he was, or these executive producers are really invested. Regardless, I’m glad this nonsense is almost over because I’m confident she’s going to make the wrong decision.
Onto next week, a three hour special, which I’ll put all into one article!
Okie doke. The motivation to write is back, only because this season is FINALLY over. That being said, we have this episode, the “Men Tell All” episode, “The Final Rose” and “After the Final Rose”. So hopefully, I can just power through all of this before my DnD game tonight! Let’s go! I wanna see how crazy Chad gets at the “Men Tell All” episode!
When we last left off, Jojo had to eliminate one of the guys. It was about to be Luke, and then he said he loves her. My current prediction is Jordan stays and I have no idea who the hell gets eliminated.
And we’re jumping straight into the Rose ceremony! I’m thinking she might decide to get rid of Luke after all, because she walked in with an incredibly determined walk.
First Rose: Jordan
Second Rose: Robby
Third Rose: Chase
BAM. Luke looks super confused. Jojo’s crying. It’s a mess. She tells him that this is really hard for her, but the first day she met him, she had never had that kind of connection with anyone ever before. But as time went on, she struggled with where he stood (basically, he confessed a little too late). Luke says that just sucks because he knew what they could have had. Luke seems like he’s in straight up shock. He ends with “So you didn’t want me anymore?” Dude seems like he just got broken up with out of left field, which is a little odd to see on a dating reality show, but it’s obvious he really cared about her. Poor guy just seems super confused and shocked. He says “Sorry” as he’s getting into the car, which poor Jojo is having a hard time dealing with the whole situation. In the car, Luke says he can’t process what just happened and this isn’t what’s supposed to be happening. He says he was in love with her, but he never got the chance to love her. That’s an incredibly deep sentiment; it really kills to watch this honestly. It’s one of the first times I’ve seen one of the guys just generally broken that it didn’t work out, not because of a competition or some complex or ego or anything. He just wanted to love her and regretted not saying it earlier. This whole time, Jojo’s crying and saying she already misses him.
New scene and we’re in Thailand for Jojo to “decide her soulmate”. This is the week of “overnight dates”. Which usually mean something mischievous happens. First date night, Robby! They’re in a cute market and making out in public, which for the record, is a big no-no anywhere in Asia. But moving on. Suddenly a storm starts! Monsoon season is definitely my favorite season! They’re talking during a Thai massage and Jojo mentions that even though a lot of people would think it was too soon for Robby to tell her that he loves her, she really liked that because it allowed her to start trusting him and open up to her earlier. Time for dinner, and Jojo’s reliving her nightmare with Ben and how he said he loves her back, but then went back on it later. She says how Robby saying he loves her makes it a little bit more difficult to trust him. Dude, what the hell do you want out of these guys?? He then brings out a note that his dad wrote him after the fiasco of his ex at the hometown dates. Jojo’s really touched by the letter (as am I), and she then offers him the “Fantasy Suite” which is known for..things happening. At this point, Robby starts calling Jojo “Joelle” (her real name), which is a dart through my very heart. You use someones real name when you really love them, and it’s adorable. Meanwhile, Jojo tells Robby that she has very strong feelings for him, super emphasis on the the strong. Basically, she’s saying she loves him, but doesn’t want to say it yet, because she doesn’t want a Ben repeat. However, in a private interview, she says that she’s confident she loves Robby and she wants to be intimate with him. We have no idea whether she told him or not. We come to the next morning and their having an adorable couple breakfast together. She reiterates to the camera that she’s in love with Robby, but she confirms that she didn’t say anything to him. She tells the camera that she’s not going to say it until she knows she’s ready to spend the rest of her life with someone. Here’s to rooting for Robby!!
Next up, Jordan’s here! Jojo tells the camera that she’s definitely falling in love with Jordan. They’re on some crazy ass hike that there’s no way in hell I would be able to do. They end up at some cave where the climb down a bazillion steps to end up at a temple. There’s apparently no kissing inside the temple (duh) and it really bums out Jojo because “they have so much chemistry”. They start talking about Jojo’s family, and she mentions that they’re a very protective family. To the camera, Jojo mentions that she’s scared that Jordan may be too good to be true. Time for dinner, and Jojo’s worried about trusting Jordan. She asks him what he thinks the next year will look like and Jordan answers that he doesn’t know. She mentions her concern is that their lifestyles might be too different. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and she mentions that’s the same thing Ben said so it scares her now. So how does Jordan know he’s in love with her? He says he has a feeling with her that he’s never had before, he’s different and better around her, and when he thinks about his wedding day, it’s with her. Now Jojo gives Jordan the keys to the Fantasy Suite, and we have night 2 of this. Somehow, something tells me Jojo isn’t as excited as she was with Robby but that might be wishful thinking. To the camera, she mentions that she loves him, but she’s definitely not ready to tell him that. In the morning, Jojo still doesn’t seem as excited as she was with Robby, but maybe it’s a different kind of excitement? Jordan, on the other hand, is super confident. Jojo mentions to the camera that she is starting to understand how Ben got to saying he loves two women at the same time.
Finally, Chase! He rides in on a motorcycle. Dude is way more confident and happier than he was in any previous episode. They’re obviously having a bunch of fun together and being really playful, which I haven’t seen this side of him at all, but that’s the power of editing. She’s just having a perfect day with Chase and she says he just brings an unbelievable amount of joy with him.
Between their day date and night date, guess who swings by Jojo’s apartment? It’s Robby! Yay! He says some real real sweet stuff, and tells her he’s ready to get down on one knee whenever. For Jojo, this apparently reaffirms why she loves Robby, which is good.
Dinner time, and Chase is still being super adorable and toasts to her trusting him! And that means he gets the Fantasy Suite. He’s telling the camera that she deserves to know that he does in fact love her. He’s pretty in secure with “I love you”s as well, and so is Jojo so I think she knows just how much it means. She doesn’t look super excited. On camera, she says that hearing him say it, she just isn’t feeling the way she should feel when he says it. Uh oh. She tells him she needs him to hold on a moment, and she just leaves the room. Real uh oh. I have a feeling she’s gonna send him home before the Fantasy Suite night even ends. She tells the camera that their relationship just isn’t where it needs to be. She’s definitely sending him home. She comes back into the room, she tells him that when he said “I love you”, she just didn’t feel what she thought she was going to feel, and she just doesn’t know if she’s in the same place as him. She tells him she doesn’t think that spending the night together would change that feeling, and she almost feels its unfair. She tells him to respond, and he gets a little upset saying that he just jumped over a hurdle he’s never jumped over before and now he’s getting skewered and scattered. He says that he now completely regrets saying that and to him, saying I love you basically means “get the f- out”. He tells her that she didn’t even give their love a chance, and she says it comes down to whether in a week or not, she doesn’t know whether she can say I love you back. She’s just trying to be honest and fair, and she doesn’t want what happened to her to happen to him by blindsiding him. He responds that she just did all that. She tells him that he was everything she could have ever wanted, and he says that if that’s rue, how come it didn’t work. He starts walking out the door himself. She chases after him, saying she doesn’t want this to be the last thing he thinks of when he thinks of her. He says that she totally broke his heart, and walks away into the car. He comes away with that this all happened because he said he loves her, and he should have never said that. He’s embarrassed and heartbroken.
Rose Ceremony time and a monkey almost stole one of the roses on the table! Probably my favorite part of this episode. She says saying goodbye to Chase really solidified her feelings for Jordan and Robby. She starts off with the guys by saying that she sent Chase home and that it was really difficult. In the middle of her speech, Chase walks in! What?? Can he even do that?? Naturally, Robby and Jordan sigh with all these second chances and twists that keep happening at rose ceremonies this season.
Chase takes her off into some random jungle, and he tells her that he cares too much to let the relationship end the way it did. He says he was shocked and that’s what caused the anger. So he’s not asking for a second chance, but he’s there just to tell her that he’s proud of her, and he thinks she’s amazing. And most of all, he’s not mad at her. Jojo thanks Chase for coming back, and they say their goodbyes.
Jojo goes back to the guys and reassures them that she’s so excited about her feelings for them.
First Rose: Jordan
Second Rose: Robby
Big surprise? Anyways, Jojo tells the guys she’s excited to have them meet her family, but she tells the camera that it’s a cruel twist of fate that she’s in the same boat that Ben was in, and next week will be very difficult for her.
After credit scene: Jojo’s talking to the camera and she’s being serenaded by monkeys! I would be so happy, but she seems like she’s not prepared for it.
Next week is Jojo’s hometown! Let’s see what happens! Here’s to praying Robby wins!
RB’s Psych Corner
There isn’t a lot to analyze as we’re getting to the end here. The one thing I’m really noting is that Jojo needs a man who is balanced in a respectful and caring way, but also is fun and allows himself to let loose and crack jokes when he’s around her. We already know Jordan has made it this far because she has a weird thing for the “bad boy” quality. It just so turns out, Jordan has a balance of that and being genuinely sweet, which worked out better for her than we could have hoped. I was prepared for him to be Chad-like, but I’m genuinely happy with the person he’s turned out to be. That being said, I still don’t think they’re a good match. Personally, I think Robby is perfect for her. He’s kind, considerate, tells her everything she needs to hear to not have a billion insecurities, and really fun for her to be around! But, we’ll have to see if the devil on her shoulder speaks louder. What’s most poignant to me is that Robby is obviously 100% in since basically day 1, and has been nothing but open with her. However, it seems like Jordan’s been a bit slower to pick up and I’m not certain he’s ready for the level of commitment that Robby is. I mean it’s obviously absurd to base any relationship of a timeline of “you have to propose to me in 2 months or else I’m breaking up with you”, but in the sense of this show, it obviously makes more sense to pick someone who’s ready for that commitment, that someone who’s not. It remains to be seen what happens!
We’ll find out Jojo’s decision in two articles, since next article is The Men Tell All!”. Let’s go!
2 episodes to catch up! We’re almost there!
This week is the hometown visits, and I’ve clearly lost my motivation to continue writing. The completionist in me is the only thing keeping me going.
First up is Chase’s hometown, Highland Ranch, Colorado! Chase wants to tell Jojo that she’ll be meeting his mother and father separately, due to how terrible their divorce was, but he doesn’t want things to be awkward. They go to meet his dad first, and Jojo enters an empty house. Dad comes in after some house investigation on Jojo and Chase’s part, and we find out that Dad’s remarried with several step-children. For some reason, Chase takes this opportunity to ask his dad why things didn’t work out with Chase’s mom. Dad basically says that he was overly focused on work and he regrets how things worked out. This seems to be eye-opening for Jojo and she understands more now why he’s so closed off emotionally. So, Chase asks Jojo for some alone time with Dad, which again, seems really odd. Dad leaves without spending alone time with Jojo, again odd. But Jojo seems to be into it. Next is Chase’s mom! There’s mom, step-dad, sister and brother-in-law. Mom takes Jojo aside, and they have some alone time (yay normality!). Jojo and mom are really bonding. Meanwhile, sister and Chase are hanging out, and Chase asks sister for her honest opinion. Seems like sister is just as emotionally messed up as Chase, which is good validation for him, but seems like he’s very confident about his feelings for Jojo. Mom and Chase are having alone time now, and Mom is the cutest little mom! She seems to really like Jojo, and she asks Chase if he’s ready to propose, to which he responds that he absolutely is. He says that he’s “definitely falling in love with Jojo”, which seems a bit slow, but great progress for the dude! Good job buddy!
Next up is Jordan in Chico, California! Jojo’s super adorable when she sees a bunch of deer! She freaks out and it’s super cute! Jordan takes her to his high school first, where she gets to meet his football coach. Already, anytime Aaron (his brother) gets brought up, things get super weird. Regardless, Jordan’s super excited to introduce her to the rest of his family, which is a good sign! Jojo is considerably more nervous to meet Jordan’s family that she was to meet Chase’s family, which I’m going to say is a bad sign for Chase. So we have mom, dad, brother, and brother’s girlfriend! She seems to really love his family, but Aaron not being there really seems to bother her. Luke pulls Jojo aside, and the first thing she bring up is Aaron missing. Luke mentions that it pains the whole family and it seems like neither Luke or Jordan gets along with Aaron at all, which is a bit of a twist for me, since I anticipated Jordan would be the only one with problems. Luke mentions that Jordan is one of the people who has the most integrity. Next up, Jordan and Luke have their alone time, and Luke asks if Jordan is ready to get married, to which Jordan quickly responds yes. Luke says he really likes her, which seems to mean a lot to Jordan. Jordan and Dad are talking alone now and Dad mentions it’s the first time he’s ever seen Jordan this happy with a girl. Next is Jordan and Mom, and she’s very excited for him. Jordan mentions that he’s really missing Aaron, and he regrets that Aaron wasn’t there for such a special moment. Meanwhile, Jojo’s telling the camera that she’s really scared that Jordan isn’t going to always want to be there for her, and she parallels it to her situation with Ben, saying she wants to say “I love you” back to Jordan, but doesn’t want a repeat situation. Again, none of this happened with Chase, so I’m going to say more bad signs for Chase. Jordan is naturally confused with Jojo being scared again. He tells the camera that his feelings for her grew exponentially after she met his family and he’s ready to get down on one knee and he wouldn’t do that “just to see where this goes”.
Next is St. Augustine, Florida for Robby! She says she’s super excited to meet Robby. He asks her to whistle, and a horse drawn carriage comes bustling in! They take a carriage tour through the town. She says she has moments where she feels like she’s falling in love with him, but other times where she feels conflicted, mainly because of his previous relationship. Robby’s very optimistic about how he thinks that nothing can go wrong, which leads me to believe that things are going to go very wrong. We move over to his hometown, Jacksonville, where Jojo says she’s super excited and nervous to meet his family! Jojo meets a lot of people. Mom, Dad, sisters Grace and Katie, Katie’s husband Tyler, and brothers Micheal and Patrick. Goodness. Honestly, their family is super adorable, and apparently they think the same thing. Robby and his brothers get some alone time, and they love her immediately and say that she fits in perfectly. Mom and Jojo are hanging out and Mom asks if Jojo has any questions, and she immediately asks about his ex, and she’s concerned he didn’t take enough time for himself after the breakup. Mom says Jojo’s basically got nothing to worry about. Jojo tells Mom that she hasn’t told anyone yet, but she’s falling in love with Robby. HOT DAMN. That’s unexpectedly happy news! Now Robby and Mom have some time, and Mom has some bad news. Apparently, ex’s roommate is spreading rumors that Robby broke up, so that he could go on the show. Mom says she knows that that’s not true, but she needed to let Robby know, and he already knows she has concerns about it. 100%, I believe him. That is the face and voice of an incredibly honest man, and I hope to God that Jojo sees that. Robby walks in on sisters and Jojo, to interrupt and tell her the news. It seems that Jojo’s not taking it well, and seems like she’s not believing him. My heart is dropping right now, because I really want her to believe him. We find out her that their relationship was already on the verge of ending, but Robby called it off when she slapped him during an argument. He hasn’t spoken to her since. Honestly, kudos to him! She’s really not handling it well, but she’s being super open with him and he’s being very open right back. She ends up telling him that she trusts him and she’s going to try not to worry about it.
Next is Burnet, Texas for Luke. Dude walks in looking like he came right out of a Western. She mentions that she likes him a lot, but she wants to see more emotional depth out of him. They pull up, and apparently there’s a party being thrown for them! Mom, Dad, sister, and 15 other people are all there! She mentions that she’s a little overwhelmed. Luke and mom are hanging out and mom doesn’t seem as excited as the other moms, but maybe that’s just her personality? Dad is next, and he seems to really like her. He says once he knows that she’s in it, he’ll be ready to give her his whole heart. Like everyone else, Luke says he’s ready to tell her that he’s falling in love with her. Again, a little late on the train, but that’s fine. He tells her that he can see himself spending the rest of his life with her. Somehow, it brings Jojo to tears, and she says she wishes she could spend more time with him and the thought of leaving is making her cry. He tells her he has a surprise for her, and he’s got a little path of candles leading up to a rose-pedal heart, where he tells her that his whole heart is his.
And that ends the hometowns! Now Jojo has to make a decision about who stays and goes. I’m still confident that Chase goes, but it’s between Robby and Luke which one goes. I really hope Robby stays personally. He’s just such an amazing guy. This weeks rose ceremony weirdly takes place in a plane hangar. Robby arrives first, followed by Chase, Luke and Jordan. I have a sneaking feeling that Robby gets eliminated and he becomes the next Bachelor. Either him or Derek or James. I’m telling everyone right now, there’s no way in hell I’m going to document that. Just know that it’s going to be more drivel. I’m also anticipating Jojo to have a hard time with this decision and probably has a breakdown. Lots of crying, woe is me, no decision being made and the guys probably feeling like they are going to throw up. One guy has to go home. Let’s see!
And oh my gosh, before the ceremony even starts, she tells the camera that she thinks she has to say goodbye to Luke! I didn’t see that coming! Also there’s 3 roses, so only one person gets eliminated!
First Rose: …And Luke says he wants to talk to her??? Luke takes this opportunity to tell her that “I’m in love with you” and he wanted her to know that. …well then. Cue breakdown? Yup! Cue breakdown!
Oh….I guess they’re not going to do the rose ceremony this episode? Next episode! Let’s go!
RB’s Psych Corner
There isn’t much here to analyze from the guy’s perspective that I haven’t already said. What I do want to point out is the importance of editing and how it affects my understand of the relationships. After this latest episode, I was confused as to why she would get rid of Luke before Chase. At the end of the episode, as a type of post-clip, there was a scene of Jojo and Chase building a snowman, and it immediately all made sense. Their sense of playfulness, comfort-level and banter is something that hasn’t been shown in any of the main clips, even on their one-on-ones. Although I maintain his family is a little weird, and he’s probably not a good fit for her, she’s obviously genuinely happy with him on a deeper emotional level, which is something I don’t see with her and Luke. Essentially, this is where I’m going to put my disclaimer that even though I’m analyzing the hell out of everyone, a lot of that relies on accurate editing, so with the exception of Chad, I want everything to be taken with a grain of salt and realize it’s an analysis of what I’m shown, not what I’m naturally able to see. That being said, Chad is still crazy and I’m genuinely worried about the reunion show.
Next episode! Let’s go!
Guys, I need to be honest with you. Watching this much reality television might actually be killing me. I find that I now dread the entire week having to write these “Bachelorette” articles. Praise be to the gods, however, that this damn season is almost over. I can almost guarantee I will not be doing this kind of psychological review again. With that being said, let’s get this damn thing over with.
This is the week that Jojo decides which 4 men make it to the “hometown dates”. Essentially, the semi-finalists who get to introduce Jojo to their families. Jojo, herself has been through this process, where her family basically attacked Ben (“The Bachelor”) for even being on the show. Tension has been really random against Jordan as well. Robby’s also quickly become my favorite. Let’s see how this week goes!
There’s 6 guys left: Alex, Luke, James, Jordan, Chase and Robby. There’s no more one-on-one date roses, but there will be one available on the group date. Alex gets the one-on-one date! He gets to drive with Jojo to the countryside. Jojo seems to be having trouble getting comfortable with him emotionally, though I’m not entirely sure what she expected on a car drive? After a while, we just hit weird silence between these two. I’m gonna call no bueno, only because it doesn’t seem like a “comfortable” silence. They detour to a gaucho ranch, which is basically an Argentinian cowboy ranch! They meet, Carlos and Oscar, two cute gauchos who are going to show them the ropes!
The rest of the guys are taking a bus to get to the same location, and what do they do? They write a diss-rap about Alex, which I personally find absolutely hilarious and endearing. These kids are adorable. They then stop at a local BBQ highway stop. Jordan proclaims himself a picky eater and says he could be happier. To me, that’s kind of an odd thing to mention, but ok. The guys point out that almost after not getting a rose, Jojo immediately gives Alex a one-on-one, which perhaps might not be a good sign for him.
Back at gaucho camp, they’re riding horses! There’s adorable little doggies who keep running alongside the horses – I’m a HUGE fan! Then the horsies lie on their back and get belly-rubs from the gaucho! This is maybe my favorite one-on-one date yet! Apparently, Jojo’s a huge fan of Alex now too, so that’s a good sign. But she wants “harder conversations” with him, so we still have that coming up.
The rest of the guys finally get to their destination, and it’s where the guys will be staying for the rest of the week!
Jojo and Alex are on their dinner date, and I have a bad feeling, especially considering how optimistic Alex is.
Back at the house, Jordan gets his second one-on-one. Poor James is pretty upset considering he was on the chopping block last night.
Jojo’s asking Alex some really tough stuff and Alex tells her that he thinks that he’s falling in love with her. Jojo doesn’t respond at all, but she says she doesn’t know what to think of it when a closed off guy opens up emotionally. I can’t figure out what the hell this girl wants. She wants people to be open but also she doesn’t know how to feel about it? Op. She just said she doesn’t feel as excited as much as she should feel when Alex opens up to her. She says she can’t see herself getting to a point where she would feel that she’s falling in love with him, and she has to say goodbye to him now. What a twist!
One-on-one time with Jordan and they’re wine-tasting in Mendoza, Argentina! Jojo keeps emphasizing how comfortable she feels with Jordan, which again, makes me feel like something might be up, very soon.
Another date card comes in and Chase, James and Robby are all on the group date, and that means Luke is on the last one-on-one.
Back at the date, my bad feeling is definitely getting worse. They’re at dinner and Jordan says he’s going to tell Jojo “everything she needs to about my family”. He basically tells her that he has a great relationship with his oldest brother Luke and the rest of his family, but he doesn’t have a relationship at all with his brother Aaron. Jojo, as opposed to me, seems to be very happy that he said all of this. And then he drops the bomb and says that he’s in love with Jojo, and has known for a few weeks. Jojo responds very positively, so it seems like he won’t be getting the boot.
Next day, we have the group date! Jojo’s got a cute slumber-party type thing planned and it’s super cute! They’re playing all these cute games and then suddenly, we get to truth-or-dare. Robby’s been dared to streak (with his underwear on) and run through the hallway! He owns it though, so it’s ok! James, on the other hand, is taking the whole date to make up stories about Robby to Jojo to make him look bad. Not cool man.
Robby has his one-on-one time with Jojo, and talks to her about his family and his ex pretty openly. He mentions he only became single 4 months ago after a 3 year relationship, which catches Jojo off guard. But she really appreciates it. Next is Chase, and he says he wants to be open up with her, but he’s just nervous. But he tells her that she wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Last is James, and my bad feeling radar is coming up again. James brings up that he’s a little concerned because he feels like although their relationship is very strong, they’re relationship isn’t as physical it might be with others, to which Jojo responds that he has every quality she would want in a husband or the father of her children. That sounds like good news, but her face doesn’t exactly relay that. James, is over the moon, however, with Jojo and is ready to take her to his family. He tells her that he’s in the process of falling in love with her, and she says that makes her really happy. She doesn’t give him the boot either so that’s maybe a good sign? My money is on Robby for getting the rose. Robby kind of picks a fight with James, over the weirdest thing – the use of the word front-runner. James says he thinks people with one-on-ones are automatically safe and Robby takes real quick offense to that. Unfortunately for James, I actually do think that Robby is the front-runner, but I think James might be out, so I’m not entirely sure how Jojo’s deciding who’s on what date. And Robby’s got the rose! And James is confident either him or Chase is going home.
Time for Luke’s date and they’re at a ranch. Jojo says right of the bat that he’s the “total package” and everytime she’s with him, she feels more and more confident about their relationship. This is a great date for Luke though since he’s from a ranch-lifestyle. I do have to say though, they definitely have a chemistry going on that you definitely don’t see with anyone else. By miles.
The date went so well in fact, that Jojo says she’s confident about tonight’s rose and doesn’t even need a cocktail ceremony. Woah. And the other guys react similarly. One guy has to go home, and as much as I hate it, I’m fairly confident that it’s going to be James. She just doesn’t react to him as positively, which is ridiculous because by her own admission, he’s everything she looks for. The good thing is that he’s very aware of his own situation. And Robby already has a rose.
First Rose: Luke
Second Rose: Jordan
Third Rose: Chase
That means James is going home. She walks him out and asks him to sit down for a bit. They talk and it’s very heart-breaking honestly. James says he’s bummed because he always here’s “you’re going to find a great girl” but he doesn’t know when that’s going to be, but it’s not Jojo’s fault at all. She’s still balling her eyes out, which is good to know that the decision wasn’t easy for her.
So, next week is hometowns! It should be interesting!
RB’s Psych Corner
Well, this week was certainly a whopper. I’d have to say what shocked me most was Jojo’s sureness in her decisions. I can’t honestly say she’s making good decisions, but she’s making adequate one’s quickly, which saves everyone a headache. Both Alex and James leaving was expected. Next week, it’s down to Chase, Robby, Jordan and Luke. I have a sneaking suspicion that Chase is going to get knocked out real fast, and something real bad is about to go down with Jordan. I’m fairly confident that Chase will be out next week. As for who is the other one who is out, I’m confident Jordan will actually stay solely based on Jojo’s bad decision making skills. This means it’s between Robby and Luke, (who should be the last 2 out of this group of 4), which will cause Jojo to have some sort of panic attack about how hard this all is, and she’ll eventually make a decision (I’m leaning towards keeping Luke because “he’s the whole package”) and she’ll end up sobbing the entire night. This show has very quickly become predictable.
My central fear is this constant discussion about Jordan not being “totally honest”. It concerns me that he doesn’t have a good relationship with his older brother, as well as the issues with his ex from before. Something just seems off about him. In regards to who “wins” this whole thing, I have a feeling that due to her independence, she picks Jordan, but she may decide that she doesn’t want a proposal at all, and she needs more time to get to know these guys one-on-one before making such a big life decision even though she keeps emphasizing how ready she is for marriage.
Here’s to hoping she proves me wrong and Robby wins the whole thing!
Next article should be out tomorrow so look forward to it!
Ok. We’re very late this week, but that’s ok because life makes you busy. Ok, episode 6!
So, so far we know they’re in Buenos Aires and there’s something shady going on with Jordan. There’s a serious chance he gets eliminated this week.
Episode starts with Jojo talking to Chris and she mentions concerns about being told “I love you” by anyone, forget Robby. Chris mentions the irony if she falls in love with two guys. I would be very upset. There’s going to be a group date, a single date and a two-on-one date this week. Again, that’s a guaranteed elimination.
The single date goes to Wells, which will be his first single date…and also potentially his first kiss with Jojo? The guys are judging him pretty hard. Personally, I find it the sweetest and most endearing! Alex makes the joke to Jojo’s face and it doesn’t go over well at all.
On the date, Welss buys her a bracelet. They keep intermingling commentary from the guys saying how terrible it is that he hasn’t kissed her yet. This is being made a much bigger deal than it needs to be. They go to this show called “Fuerza Bruta” which means “Brute Force” in English. Wells himself is now continuously talking about having to kiss her and somehow gives her a weird peck on the cheek.
Back at the house, the guys are saying their convinced that they’re not going to see Wells again.
And back at the date, he finally kisses her in a dark pool of apparently sexy water! Woo! But Jojo calls him out for kissing her “finally”. The whole situation is very weird, but apparently they’re both very happy with the way it ended. Jojo asks Wells about his last relationship, and he tells her that it was a 4 year long relationship, where they were the same personality but best friends.
Back at the house, the date card is there again. This time, Luke, Robby, Jordan, James and Alex all have a group date. That means a two-on-one between Derek and Chase.
Wells is talking about the things he needs in his perfect person, and he mentions his need for honesty. The date suddenly takes a REALLY bad turn. Wells mentions that he thinks that eventually love in a relationship fades away so you need more than just that initial excitement. Jojo doesn’t seem to like that and mentions that she thinks that “fairytale love” does exist and everyone deserves finding someone who always makes them excited. She mentions to the camera that his skepticism upsets her. Time for the date rose, and she actually doesn’t give him the rose! HOLY HELL. That means he’s going home, which is pretty sad.
The next day, we’re on the group date! They’re walking around the time and James is having some confidence issues for sure. He’s comparing his looks, personality, how little he stands out, how cool they are, etc. I don’t see these insecurities boding well for him.
They’re at dinner now and she has her one-on-ones. First up is Luke and she’s obviously VERY cozy with him, initiating kissing and everything. Honestly, it looks like she’s ready to jump him, which is very weird for me to be watching. That being said, he gives me a very creepy vibe, and I’m not entirely sure why. Jojo, however, is clearly VERY enamored. She says they have a very “passionate relationship”.
Back at the hotel, it’s just Derek and Chase and Chase is very confident he’s staying for weeks to come. That being said, he definitely did NOT like how confident Derek was about staying.
Now we’re at James’ one-on-one, and Jojo mentions James seems off. He mentions he’s very nervous, just in general, but he has issues with Jordan. That’s unexpected. Apparently he’s been showing a lot of attitude and comes off as entitled and that didn’t sit well with James. However, Jojo really appreciates James going out of his way to tell her.
Jojo grabs Jordan and asks him about the situation with James. Jordan doesn’t seem to happy with this being brought up at all, and even asks how the situation came up. The entire time, he’s laughing off the situation. He mentions off the bat that James is one of his best friends in the house and he seems somewhat confused by the situation. But he keeps repeating that he’s not entitled, he was just right. I personally don’t actually know how to take that. But I can see this not going a good way. In his private interview, he essentially calls James pathetic for calling out his integrity.
The guys are all sitting together without Jojo and there’s a very creepy and unnerving vibe as soon as Jordan enters the room. Jordan seems to want to have it out with James right away about what he said to Jojo. And then he does call James pathetic to his face. Well then. And the group rose goes to…my money’s on Luke. Just because of her weird attraction to him. And it goes to… Luke! Woo! Yay for guessing! Boo for creepiness.
Next day is the two-on-one. Derek is REALLY confident, and I’m not entirely sure why to be honest. They do a tango, and nothing really significant happens. Chase is starting to get in his own head about how close he and Derek might be though and he’s pulling back, as opposed to Derek getting more and more open. Chase has his one-on-one and he’s not doing well it seems. Jojo complains that after how open she was with him the week before, she feels like he didn’t give her anything back. Chase is completely taken aback, and tries to tell her he wants to give her all the things she wants, but she mentions that he simply hasn’t. Jojo says that it seems like she likes him more than he likes her. That’s definitely not a good sign. However, he manages to open up a little at the last minute and it seems to make Jojo feel better. I have no idea what’s gonna happen but my money is on Chase going out. And I was wrong! Chase gets the rose and Derek is out. In a private interview later, Derek is taking it really hard, he talks about how he’s imperfect and doesn’t understand why he’s crying. It’s actually very heartbreaking but Jojo is confident she made the right decision.
In the pre-rose ceremony interview, Jojo is talking about how she isn’t confident about who she wants to send home at all. There are only 3 roses and 4 guys. So one guy goes home tonight. Luke and Chase already have roses. That means it’s between Alex, Robby, Jordan and James. Personally, my money is on Alex, just because we haven’t seen a lot from him this week. But I really don’t know. It could just as easily be James. At the cocktail party, Jordan swoops Jojo right up to talk to her about the James situation. She feels very confident about them now, which is good for him.
First Rose: Robby
Second Rose: Jordan
Right as she’s about to give out the third rose, she apologizes and runs out. What??? She says that she just can’t hand out the rose, and then Chris takes the rose away. She walks back in and Chris brings back TWO roses!
Third Rose: Alex
Fourth Rose: James
Well that’s a twist! As grateful as James is to still be here, Alex seems upset that he wasn’t the clear favorite. It seems like he might take issue with this going forward.
RB’s Psych Corner
There isn’t too much to analyze this week. I have an incredibly bad and creepy feeling about Alex and Luke but I can’t pin my finger on it. Luke seems deceptive and Alex seems possessive. Neither is a good sign. Chase is fine but there’s nothing too exciting about him. And Jordan might stay, but some supposedly true colors might also come out. Personally, I love Robby and James the best. They seem like genuinely kind hearted people and they are both genuinely funny, not douchey people, which is something incredibly important to stress with Jojo, it seems. I’m putting my money on either Chase or Alex leaving next week. I assume Alex is going to get a one-on-one, and it’ll go great, but Jojo just won’t go through with the rose and Alex is going to be left very angry. He seems somewhat explosive and confrontational, almost like a mini-Chad. Thankfully, we haven’t seen any more of that dude. Other than that, Jojo clearly has some insecurities and if she doesn’t get past them, she isn’t going to make good choices going forward. I feel the same can be said of James. If the dude doesn’t get some self-confidence real fast, he’s going to get eliminated, real fast.
That’s all! See you guys next week!
Ok Day 5! Sorry I’m a bit late this week. But, we’re ready to go now! A review: Chad’s crazy. Let’s begin.
The boys are celebrating at the house that Chad’s finally gone (theoretically). They’re going pretty far with littler ceremonies, parties and even a funeral? I sense an ABC gimmick. Meanwhile, Chad’s creepily whistling through the woods…Annnddd he’s knocking on the front door of the house. Well damn. He walks in and trying to validate himself to the guys, which Jordan takes the opportunity to apologize to Chad for them not understanding him well enough and using it to maybe finally clear the air. You go Jordan! Instead, Chad decides to get more angry. He then points to Jordan’s skull saying he has “half a brain” and then gives him an overly tight handshake. Jordan tells Chad he’s sorry that Chad can’t come to the point to be man enough to apologize. Obviously, he turns to more insults. More creepy whistling… I feel like this isn’t the last we see of him.
Jojo and Alex are now kissing in front of a restaurant, and decide to go for a walk. He comes back to the house and the guys are literally carrying him on their shoulders.
We’re at the cocktail party now, and the guys are having their one-on-ones. Chase brings the little tackle bubbles to play around with Jojo. Robby’s next and he and Jojo make wishes in the pond. James F. is reading Jojo a poem, when Alex cuts in. Now Daniel’s talking to Jojo and Luke tries to cute in?
Evan points out the irony in Chad being gone is that the guys with roses have suddenly become mini-Chads. That doesn’t bode well. Luke comes up to Evan and says that if Evan hasn’t gotten his time with her, he better hurry up, because Luke is going to go for seconds. Evan’s not happy.
Jordan’s one-on-one is next, and he says that he doesn’t want to take up too much of her time; then pushes her up against a wall and just starts making out with her. That’s charisma?
Chris shows up (the host dude), and whisks Jojo away. I’m not entirely sure if all the other guys got a chance to see her?
Predictions on who leaves next: Vinny and Grant. Luke, Alex and Jordan already have roses.
First Rose: Derek
Second Rose: Robby
Third Rose: Chase
Fourth Rose: Wells
Fifth Rose: Grant
Sixth Rose: Vinny
Seventh Rose: James T.
Eight Rose: Evan
That means James F. and Daniel are out.
Evan points out it’s been a month they’ve been pursuing her now. So basically every episode represents a week of real-world time. Just a fun fact to know.
Daniel points out that she obviously is looking for personality because his personality is shit. But if it was based off looks, he would be winning, but she picks guys like Wells and Evan. He has more experience than all the other guys combined. I’m really not sure what to do with this rant of his. But he’s gone, so whatever.
Jojo tells the guys they’re going to Uruguay for the rest of the trip! They’re very excited, needless to say.
Jordan gets the one-on-one that week. Chase points out that he feels like Jordan feels the most false to him, and there were 2 football dates geared specifically around him. The guys are super unhappy. On top of that, they find some trash magazines about Jojo’s ex-Chad and how they got back together after the last season of the Bachelor ended. They’re feeling incredibly insecure.
Luke, Derek, Chase, Evan, James, Vinny, Grant, Wells, and Alex all get the next group date.
Jordan tells Jojo that he’s falling in love with her, when Jojo brings up that she met an Ex of Jordan’s. Uh-oh. They have an actually productive and really enlightening conversation out of this. Jordan admits that he was just super immature in his last relationship and he should have done things differently, and although he didn’t cheat, he was definitely a jerk towards his ex. So Jojo ends up giving him a rose.
Jojo’s sitting down with the producers for her interview, talking about how confident she feels about her relationship with Jordan, when the producer comes up and shows her the magazine the guys found. Meanwhile, the guys tell Jordan about the article. They keep switching back and forth between the guys and Jojo’s interview, and she’s in complete tears at this point. She calls her Ex out for being a terrible person and just can’t allow other to be happy if he’s not. So Jojo goes proactive and goes over to the guys place to talk to them. Poor girl is really, really upset. I feel like she’s holding herself back from hysterics at this point.
Robby and Jordan are having a spa date, which is probably been the best part of this show, disregarding how gimmicky and set up it is. Robby predicts that the guys on the group date are going to take advantage of how upset Jojo was the night before.
On the date, the guys are going sand boarding and Evan predicts he’ll have another bloody nose. All of a sudden, it starts raining. Like, real rain. Not California rain.
Back at the hotel, Robby gets his own one-on-one date.
And then Luke swoops in on Jojo to take advantage of the article from yesterday, just like Robby predicted. Not saying he’s being malicious, just commenting. All the other guys seem to follow suit.
At the one-on-one’s, Derek’s having insane insecurity. He tells Jojo he’s having jealousy issues. Alex points out that he doesn’t like Derek either. He’s apparently jealous, insecure and calculated, which isn’t mostly wrong. Alex has his one-on-one too, but nothing pertinent was really said. So rose time, and Derek gets it. Alex is pissed and calls him an “insecure little bitch” and calls it a “pity rose”. Very harsh.
Robby’s date is the last date in Uruguay. I feel like the dude is fake, but I’m biased towards his name probably. He keeps using opportunities to speak a little bit of spanish, which is pretty adorable. He wants to say “I love you”, but is scared she won’t say it back. They then literally jump off a cliff together, and it’s apparently very romantic. Jojo says that for her, its a validation of how much she trusts Robby.
Back at the house, Chase and Alex aren’t happy with Derek and are semi-confronting him. It’ pretty petty and doesn’t really make a lot of sense.
Robby seems to be edging towards saying the magic words, but seems very hesitant. He tells a very heartfelt story about how his best friend dying last year made him realize he needs to do what makes him happy and be in the moment. He then tells her that he loves her, and of course, she doesn’t say it back. But he seems happy nonetheless. This makes him the first one to officially say “I love you!”
Time for the cocktail party, and everyone seems nervous. All of a sudden, Derek calls out Alex, Jordan, Chase and Robby to talk to them. I’m not entirely sure what he’s talking to them about and what they’re upset about, because no one really said anything concrete. Jordan sums it up that Derek feels like the guys have formed a clique and are exclusionary so Jordan asks the rest of the guys if anyone else feels like he’s excluded them. Wells defends Derek, but Chase jumps in to attack Derek again. None of this really makes sense. I can’t even parse this.
Chris comes in, and Jojo doesn’t want a cocktail party. They’re jumping into the rose ceremony and three of them will be going home tonight. Alex, still, is pissed.
Rose ceremony time! My suspicions for who is leaving: Vinny, Grant, and sadly Evan. I sense I’m going to be surprised again though.
First Rose: Luke
Second Rose: Chase
Third Rose: Alex
Fourth Rose: James
Fifth Rose: Wells
NOOOOO EVAN. So sad! His commentary was literally the best. But I hit it right on the head! Evan’s really upset that he didn’t take proper advantage of their time together and is disappointed in himself. Grant says that she made a mistake, but he’s really confused. Vinny seems the least upset at the beginning, but he quickly jumps to be incredibly upset.
RB’s Psych Corner
First off, I’m surprised the Chad caused as little trouble as he did. I honestly anticipated him coming back with a vengeance to hit someone. Not saying he wasn’t completely out of line, but less out of line than anticipated.
The main issue this week seems to have been that the majority of the guys were starting to form cliques and have pointless arguments. My feeling is when there is a constant bonding factor, such as a common enemy, and that factor is suddenly ripped away, a vacuum is immediately formed, and everyone subconsciously rushes to fill it with something else to bond about. There’s two ways to handle this. Either you find something else to bond over, or you continue to bring back patterns of the previous associations, all at the same level of intensity as before. Either way, you’re going to end up in a situation where everyone’s going to be acting very weird for a little bit of time. In this particular case, let’s take Alex. Alex arguably had the most hate for Chad, but with Chad gone, he needs something else to focus his energy one. Enter, Derek and Jordan. He doesn’t have particularly good reasons to hate either of them, but the intensity overall is probably amounting to a similar level as with Chad.
However, that being said, just because someone is over-reacting, doesn’t mean they aren’t necessarily right. Several of the guys have pointed out an issue with Jordan, either with him being fake or them feeling attacked. Now, with reality shows, there’s a lot of content and context they have to edit out for times sake. That means we may be missing pertinent information to psychoanalyze. But, if several of the guys have an issue with Jordan, and we don’t see it as the audience, it’s best to go with the opinion of those who are actually living through the situation. This makes me doubt my own belief in Jordan’s authenticity, though he seems to handle every situation with grace. Alex and Luke are also becoming rather haughty, which is most likely going to lead to problems if they don’t clean up their act fast.
I’d have to say the best part of this week is now that Chad’s gone, we finally get an opportunity to analyze everyone else! I’m personally crushed that Evan is gone, but it is indicative of the type that Jojo has. Though personality is her most important criteria, that personality seems to be balanced with body type. Instant chemistry and attraction are important to her, and she’s a visual person, so she gets a lot of that from looks. Basically, if a guy looks good, and treats her well, he’s a keeper; i.e. Robby, Chase, Jordan, Chad, etc. If it comes to a clash between looks and personality however, she’ll go with the personality, I suspect against her gut reaction, which is mainly towards “the bad boy” character. That being said, morals are the thing she’s most sensitive about, and the second she can’t trust them, she will dump them.
This brings us to Evan. One might think, “Evan had the personality! Why didn’t he stay?” The reasoning is simple: he didn’t “wow” her enough. Basically, she doesn’t do well with shy guys, and if it takes too much time for the charisma to come out, then she’s done with it. Evan, although witty on camera, had a tendency to be a bit more reserved and quiet around Jojo. So even though his kind personality shown through, the lack of desire to make-out with him in secret corners won out and she called it quits. Unfortunate, but ultimately for the best, because Evan needs a girl who is a bit more reserved, traditional and an intellectual equal. Anyone who participates on “The Bachelorette” is probably not that. And that’s a wrap!
See you next week!
Day 2! Predictions for the day: I expect lots of nonsense, and Chad to get kicked out in some dramatic fashion. Let’s go!
So, Chad walks back into the house. If you remember, he’s supposed to apologize. He saunters in saying that he just wants everyone to be chill and he doesn’t have any problems with anyone. Evan says that’s not really any apology and he still needs a new shirt, to which Chad retorts that Evan tried to push him over. Wells pips up saying that the real issue here is that everyone feels uneasy, and Chad just keeps reiterating that they just need to all stop bothering him.
Jojo swings by the house and the pool party begins! The boys all do a PERFECT swan dive into the pool for Jojo and poor Evan comes out with a bloody nose! Hilariously, everyone immediately starts joking that Chad must be at fault. Jojo and Jordan and sneak off to make out. These two are a perfect couple. They really bond well together and they’re obviously really into each other.
Back to the festivities, Jojo mentions that “Even Chad seems to be having a good time.” That wording by itself is very indicative that Jojo obviously doesn’t have a very positive impression of him. She’s not very keen on touching him like she seems with the other guys, and she tells him straight up she was mad with him on the group date for attacking Evan. His argument is “We’re total opposites…It’s like trying to figure out what you want for dinner..ice cream or steak?” ….Terrible argument. This dude could use some time in a debate club. Evan comes over, however, and cuts their time short. Chad (again) is very upset that he got cut out, cause he’s never done that.
Everyone in their alone time is talking bad stuff about Chad. Derek even tells her that he moved rooms, while Chad is WATCHING THE CONVERSATION FROM BEHIND THE BUSHES. WHAT DUDE? How stalkerish can you get?? He notices Chad, and kisses Jojo right in front of her. HA. Good job bud. So, he gets upset and sulks away, refusing to talk to anyone. He calls Derek out to the foyer, and wants to confront him. He tells Derek “I don’t know who like me stole your girlfriend, but I’m not him.” Derek very pointedly remarks that the REASON they all have issues with Chad is because he starts off his sentences like that and attacking the guys. Dude should have his own psych corner!
Rose ceremony time! My guess is Ali, Christian and Chad, are out this week (I can only pray).
First Rose: Grant
Second Rose: Derek
Third Rose: Jordan
Fourth Rose: Luke
Fifth Rose: Robby
Sixth Rose: Wells
Seventh Rose: James F.
Eighth Rose: Vinny
Ninth Rose: Daniel
Tenth Rose: Alex
Eleventh Rose: Chad
WELL DAMN IT. COME ON DUDE. This means that Ali, Christian and Nick B. are all out. Poor Nick is actually crushed.
And Jojo drops a surprise – they’re going to a different location for the rest of the season! They’re in…Pennsylvania? I suppose that’s pretty far from LA, and pretty relaxing! That should be good!
Side note: the more I look, the more Jordan and Derek look like long-lost twins.
Luke gets the one on one date. And they go dog sledding! Complete with a cozy blanket and cuddles! They then move into a wood-fire-hot tub. She mentions again how she’s worried that things with Luke might be too good to be true. She for sure is psyching herself out.
Back at the house, the guys are predicting a two-on-one date. Alex mentions that the only thing worse than a two-on-one is a two-on-one with Chad.
Speaking of Chad, he mentions that the other guys need to not “poke the Chad-bear” and that he won’t “start things but he’ll definitely end them”…
Derek, James T., Daniel, Chase, Wells, Vinny, James F., Evan, Grant, Jordan, and Robby all get a group date. That means that Alex and Chad have a potential two-on-one. Poor Alex. And Alex mentions that he’s going to send Chad home. Jordan says sending Chad home is “for America”.
Dinner with Jojo and Luke is going great with Jojo using the word “sexy” about 15 times for Luke. I think she has some practiced lines as she’s used the same lines on most of the guys. Luke opens up about what it was like to be a platoon leader and Lieutenant in the army. His childhood friend Jason died on the battlefield and it seems like Luke’s having a real moment here – no producers involvement here! And apparently that comes across to Jojo and she gives him a rose. They move onto a theater where they get serenaded by a group called “Dan + Shay”.
Next day, it’s the group date! And they’re at a football stadium with Ben Roethlisberger! It’s one of those physical competition tests again. James T. ends up with a bloody eye, but shakes it off. What a trooper!
At the house, Chad’s starting a fight, no surprise. That’s about all I’m going to say on it.
Back at the stadium, Evan has a bloody nose again and he’s become the butt of every joke. He’s taking it in great stride though.
Alone time’s up and Robby’s first. They make out on a pool table. Super cliche, but thats basically the rest of their time together. All the other guys are up and then Jordan is having issues with her. She says that he still makes her nervous and that she can’t read him. This can’t be a good sign for my favorite pick.
So now Jojo has to pick someone to give the rose to. It’s Jordan! I got proved wrong so fast!
Time for the two-on-one! But before we get there, turns out Grant has a problem with Chad too. So after asking the stupid question of who there has a problem with him, Chad finds out everyone has a problem with him (shocker). So he decides he doesn’t want anyone to talk to him anymore. Alex mentions that they’re polar opposites, and Chad starts calling him a “whiny little bitch” to which Alex responds that Chad is the “most insecure person I’ve ever met”. Alex points out that Chad has burned all his bridges as everyone in the world can see Chad on tv and see what he’s really like. Chad then challenges everyone to go outside. Good Lord.
The day for the date is finally here! Evan’s the only one thinking that Chad might be able to trick Jojo into letting him stay. While the rest of the guys are having a conversation, Chad’s weirdly eavesdropping again, and when they ask him to join, he once again picks a fight with Jordan. This time Chad starts on a rant about how when the show ends, he’s going to go out of his way to find Jordan’s house and beat him up. And that Jordan should be afraid of Chad. This guy would be in jail in a second in real life.
Jojo starts off saying she’s very nervous about the whole day because she doesn’t know what’s going to happen with Chad. They’re taking a hike today, so things could get interesting being that far out in the wilderness. Chad is spouting nonsense about how he’s doing the best in the house again. The three of them are just sitting talking, and things are SUPER awkward. So Jojo asks to spend some time alone with Alex. So he tells Jojo what’s going on with Chad in more detail. Hopefully that’s the push she needs. She talks to Chad now, and he basically admits that he’s threatening everyone but it’s their fault and he’s not doing anything wrong. Jojo is pretty upset and says she needs some alone time to think. TAKE HIM DOWN GIRLIE. After she leaves, Chad throws his cup into the river. At the very least, once he’s out of the show, we’ll miss these golden moments.
Jojo’s having doubts, but she says maybe he’s just having a hard time because of his past life experiences. At this point, Chad’s talking to the camera saying that he’s told Alex a million times to mind his own business, but at this point he “has no option left”. I’m genuinely scared for Alex’s life right now. I’m having actual anxiety and Chad’s serial murderer whistling through the woods isn’t helping.
He gets back to Alex and tells Alex he’s not “very happy with him”. “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed..It’s just unfortunate that I can’t beat you up without getting in trouble.”
Jodi’s back from her alone-time walk, and she’s got a decision for sure. I’m betting she keeps Alex. I hope to god she’s not so dumb as to keep Chad. She point blank asks him if he’s threatened people in the house, which he DOESN’T EVEN DENY OR APOLOGIZE FOR. TAKE HIM JOJO. YES. SHE TOOK HIM DOWN. She laid it DOWN on him. And gives Alex the rose. Chad’s clearly unhappy. I’m not sure if he’s going to do something drastic though…
The guys in the house see Chad’s backpack being taken away, and they all start cheering. There’s confetti and drinks and basically a party happening.
Alone time with Chad and Jojo and Chad says he’s now going to “have to go find Alex”. Chad comes back to the house and the guys are SUPER confused (as would I be). Again, I’m concerned for everyone’s safety.
To be continued…
RB’s Psych Corner
Jordan’s my vote for winning this whole thing. Very clear to me that they both like each other more than they expected and are trying to stifle the feelings. It’s obvious that both of them have been hurt badly in the past (Jojo’s we witnessed on national television), and because of that, they’re both scared to open up to each other. However, Jojo’s still a little immature in thinking that although she isn’t really wanting to open up, all the guys should open up to her. Hopefully, she doesn’t act on those feelings. Derek’s coming up pretty hot as well, and I have a lot of faith in Alex and Evan. With Chad, she’s probably fighting herself to see the good in him. It seems like she’s the kind of girl who likes to “fix guys”. Hence her attraction to the bad boy type. She seems to be the type who spurns the good guys for this reason, and keeps telling herself that someone is good “deep down”. People, I’m gonna tell you right now. If you see even ONE red flag in a person, that is a very good reason to stop talking to that person. You have to have enough respect as an individual to respect YOUR time and know that you are a person of value. You, as a human being, deserve to be loved by someone amazing. If you are convincing either yourself or the other party of reasons that you should be together, there’s something wrong there. Especially, when the person is a crazy, violent, meat-head. She seems to have enough self-awareness to know that all of this is bad for her however, hence why she let Chad go. Problem being, the dude is crazy and the producers should’ve 1. had better security measures and 2. kicked him off the show WAY earlier.
We’ll see what happens next week, but I’ll be anxious for everyone’s safety the whole time! See you ten!
Ok! So we’ll have 2 episodes in 2 days! Other than that, let’s get rolling!
So everyone wakes up to a trashed house. No surprise with the antics that happened.
The bromance between Daniel and Chad continues to develop. I personally suggest they drop Jojo and just date each other. This isn’t a normal bromance either. It’s a BRO-mance. Working out all day son!
Once again, Chad is super confident that he’s awesome. I just want to see his tiny little dreams crushed at this point.
Chase gets the one-on-one with Jojo, but obviously Chad is confused. Dude has the insight of a snail, I swear.
So Chase didn’t have a date last week, so he gets a chance this week. That being said, if he doesn’t get a rose, IMMEDIATE elimination. And they end up at a Yoga studio. AND ONE OF MY PEOPLE IS THE INSTRUCTOR.
Back at the house, Chad and Daniel are working out. Totally unexpected. Evan, however, agrees with me that these two belong together.
Back at yoga, somehow a yoga pose turned into a sexy make-out session. Of course this situation was totally planned as Jojo ended up straddling him as a yoga pose. They have dinner afterwards and the sparks are real here. Honestly, Chase is such a down to earth guy. I’m a fan. He opens up and tells Jojo that he comes from a family of divorce. And the dude gets a rose! And they walk out onto the patio to a private concert and obviously more unfiltered making out. I honestly don’t know how she doesn’t feel weird about making out with several dudes at the same time.
Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Vinny, Nick, Evan, Alex, Chad all get on the group date. Chad then declares he doesn’t want to go on a group date. And let the drama ensue. Evan offers to cross off Chad’s name on the card so “he doesn’t have to go” and Chad tells him to shut his mouth. Jordan then drops some gold and says that if they have to have teams, he hopes that the team Chad is on is a benchpress competition and not a spelling competition. I love this kid. Obviously this riles Chad up, and calls Jordan a “27-year-old failed football player who’s done nothing with his life except toss around a piece of leather”. Alex then says Chad went to far and that he’s a “piece of shit” and Chad retorts that Alex is a “25-year-old piece of shit right there”. The rest of the guys are soaking this up and just sipping on their drinks. I would be too honestly.
Derek, James, Luke and Robby all don’t get on the group date. Alex comments that he’s excited to go on a date with “10 guys, 1 douchebag, a beautiful girl and himself”. More golden lines. Grant comments that he thinks Chad is going to say some comment and Alex is going to jump down his throat, which honestly isn’t too far off from my own prediction. Either that or Evan somehow gets punched, just due to his amazing snakiness towards Chad. You go Evan!
The group date is at a theater. And lo and behold, it’s a performance! My kind of date! Never mind, it’s a show called “Sex Talks” that makes the guys talk about their sex stories. This is gonna be amazing. But Chad doesn’t want anything to do with it. Somehow, Daniel is on the “right side” and trying to convince Chad that if he likes Jojo, just do at least a 1 minute long story. Chad, however, is getting VERY defensive, even against his best bro. Evan has decided to just call out Chad for his story. I BELIEVE IN YOU EVAN.
Grant’s story: 16 years old, wants to have sex and 30 seconds into it, has a spotlight on him. The cops put him in jail but the best part was that he got sex! He was adorably excited about this story.
Nick’s story: 16 years old and the first time he had oral he didn’t know what to do so he drew out the alphabet with his tongue. Gold.
They skip over some of the stories but they seem hilarious.
And Evan’s up! Alex is super excited for this. He starts talking about “the dangers of using steroids” – irritability, withdrawal from people, saying things like “the girl I’m trying to date is nagging me”. So he’s basically implying that Chad is using steroids. When Evan comes back, he gives Jojo a hug and Chad just grabs him by the shirt collar and pulls him back sharp. (Here, we finally learn that Nick is an Electrical Engineer!). So Chad does go up, and he says he needs a volunteer, so he calls up Jojo. He tries to kiss her on stage and she just straight up turns away. YES. PROGRESS. Alex: “Crash and burn brother!” On their way out, Chad just punches the door. Evan and Alex are chest bumping. So cute! But Chad walks and in and grabs Evan by the throat and says “Dude, you’re going to die”. What the hell dude?? And Daniel’s standing up for Evan, what?? Daniel’s like a new man! Meanwhile, Chad’s knuckles are bleeding from hitting the door. Jordan calls him out for roid rage.
They’re at dinner now and Jordan and Jojo are having their alone time. He opens up about his previous relationship. Next up is Alex, Vinny, Wells, and Nick. Chad saunters in and asks for some time, but Jojo immediately says “he just sat down”. Good job girl! Chad starts talking about how he’s not mad at Evan because of his story, but some nonsense about how Chad wanted to pass by him and Evan just pushed him away. He then starts talking about how he doesn’t ever “start anything”. Sure dude. Evan asks for an apology, and Chad starts telling Evan that Evan is bullying Chad and that he wants Evan to stay away from him. This just keeps getting more and more nonsensical. I can’t imagine that this isn’t scripted. Immediately, all the guys get up and walk away from Chad and Evan. Chad says that “Evan had his chance at love. He has 3 kids”, as though that validates that Evan shouldn’t be there?
Back at the house, Luke is spot on in guessing the group date isn’t going well. James T. gets the next individual date.
Chad’s still complaining that a lot of the guys have “no chance at all” and they’re “a parade of losers”. That being said, Chad is just hovering around all the alone time dates and spends his time bashing the guys individually. He’s giving her “a breather” apparently. Sure dude, that’s definitely what you’re doing. Chad’s turn and he immediately tells Jojo he didn’t want to come on the group date. She (obviously) seems taken aback. Evan then cuts off their conversation, and Chad is upset about it (as though he’s never done that to any of the guys). He straight up calls Jojo out and says that if Chad stays, that he wants to leave. Bold move. You really don’t see that happen often, I feel. Jojo is unhappy hearing this.
Before she hands out the rose, she wants to talk to Evan alone. SUPER CRAZY TURN OF EVENTS: She gives Evan the rose! WHAT? I was so sure the producers wouldn’t have it!
What’s Chad’s reaction going to be? I assume not good (per usual). Chad is giving dagger eyes, and Jojo point blank asks if he’s ok in the middle of her speech. He says “Is this real? Are you joking?” Oh goodness. Hopefully, she drops him like a fly tonight. She immediately calls him out for being disrespectful. She just gets up and leaves, which is probably not a good sign. Chad says “no girl on planet earth chooses Evan”. He’s super pissed. He says he wants to punch another door. Honestly, I’m very concerned for the guy’s health.
The next morning, Derek says he no longer feels safe sleeping in the same room as Chad. Shocking. Fun fact: There’s now a security guard on the premises to keep Chad in line. That’s always a good sign. Honestly, shame on the producers for allowing him to stay in the first place. If he’s endangering your other contestants, I don’t care what kind of show it is, dude’s got to go.
James T. and Jojo are on a date where they’re dressed in 1950s clothing.They’re going dancing! They meet an adorable old woman, that met her husband through dancing.
At the house, Daniel’s still being very sensible. Very weird. But good on you man! You’re changing my opinion! Please don’t mess it up. And OH MY GOODNESS, Daniel just called out Chad for being out of control! Dude’s on a roll! Good job buddy! I’m thoroughly impressed. And he just compared Chad to Hitler, Mussolini, Trump and W. Bush. Fantastic!
Back on the date, things are going well! But then Jojo’s being dumb and saying she doesn’t know if there’s any chemistry. Come on dude. Going for the bad boys is not the right thing to do. James opens up about being made fun of as a kid and how he defaults to setting girls he likes up with his best friend. That’s actually super endearing. GIRLS: Look for a dude who always looks out for you before himself! This kid is an absolute sweetheart.
At the house the next day, Chad is working out hard core. Nothing new. The rose ceremony is tonight and the guys are nervous. And Jojo decides that she doesn’t want a cocktail party tonight and go straight into the rose ceremony. The trade off is that she’s wanting an all day pool party. Personally, I feel like this wasn’t “Jojo’s decision”, but the “producer’s want ratings” decision. Chad is feeling jealous that the other guys get to see her in a bathing suit. “I can tell what she probably looks like in a bathing suit through her dress”. Not creepy at all… Evan immediately follows Chris (the host) out the door, and starts telling Chris about the issues with Chad. Chris pulls Chad aside afterwards, but Chad says none of the incidents have been his fault. Chris tells Chad he has to apologize, and Chad doesn’t take it well. Literally after that talk, he tells the camera that he’s willing to beat someone up if he needs to.
And of course, we end on that note! We’ll do “RB’s Psych Corner” and continue the drama tomorrow!
Episode 2! Let’s go!
Chad starts off saying how awesome he is. I have a feeling this confidence is going to be his down fall.
New rule: if you don’t get a rose on a one-on-one, you immediately get sent home. Goodness, that’s a lot of pressure.
Luke, Grant, Will, Evan, Daniel, Vinny, Ali, James F., Wells, and Robby all get a group date.
The guys run out to see a limo on fire and blowing up. a fire engine comes, and ABC is obviously up to their antics again. Obviously, dumb cheesy lines about how hot Jojo is follow.
Chad calls the guys who went on the date “B” material. I’m going to be real happy when this guy leaves. He then proceeded to full up a suitcase with weights and do pull ups with a weight belt. The men are not impressed and begin to call him a “meathead”. Personally, I feel like he would fit in well in “Jersey Shore”.
Meanwhile on the date, the 10 guys have to compete in a firefighter competition and then the top 3 get to compete for a personal date with Jojo. Grant, is in fact, a real firefighter. I feel like he might be at an advantage. Daniel makes a joke about “pulling hose at his apartment”. Gross. Wells, meantime is having an incredibly difficult time breathing and everyone’s noticing. But it gets him alone time with Jojo.
At the house, the boys have all composed an adorable song for Jojo, except for Chad of course who’s too cool for it.
Luke, Grant and Wells all end up in the final 3 to compete for Jojo’s extra time. Wells himself is laughing at himself being picked. He gets adorable points.
Grant (thankfully and would’ve been embarrassing for him) wins the competition and Luke doesn’t take it well. Especially when the kissing starts.
Jojo gives some scripted line about how Grant is a hero.
Back at the house, Derek gets the one-on-one. I’m pretty sure Jojo’s taking the previous Bachelorette’s advice and picking time with the guys who she is not too into.
Back at the group date, alone time with the rest of the guys begins. Wells is winning lots of points with his humor and gentleness! Go Wells!! Luke is still moping, but it’s also probably the editing. I trust ABC to make things unnecessarily nonsensical. But he starts talking about his previous relationships and starts seeming super genuine. Dude seems like he might just have possessiveness issues (in the real world of course).
So my money is on Wells for the rose. Annddd… I’m right! And Luke is pissed. He might be leaving tonight.
Derek is getting ready for his date, but he doesn’t really fit her “bad boy” or “overly nice and boring” guy quality, so he might be getting eliminated. That being said, he’s very sweet! Hope this works out for you kid. They have a weird gimmicky date and end up on a plane, heading towards San Francisco. She’s really liking him though and that’s a good sign for the normal people in the world!
Another scripted line and another kiss later, we end up back at the house with Daniel and Chad complaining about everyone being “too nice”. They both need to leave ASAP.
Jordan, Christian, Nick, James T., Alex, and Chad all have a group date. The three guys left out are bummed, but Chad brings in some real world wisdom by saying how “they’ve gone their whole lives without seeing Jojo. [They] can chill”. Dropping the wisdom bomb my man; except it is a competition, you know?
Jojo and Derek are on a dinner date and she’s really into him. Good for you girlie! Go for normal! He’s also a super solid listener. That’s hard to find. It’s too many good things on a date man. It’s making me very suspicious. But he gets the rose, so that’s great!
New group date and they’re at the ESPN studios. Update: everyone hates Chad. Big surprise. The competition is basically a touchdown dance with a rose. Chad’s coming in with saying the best thing about Jordan is Aaron Rodgers; the worst thing is that he’s not Aaron. This dude is fundamentally rubbing me the wrong way. These editors are geniuses but they can only work so much with the material they have and this material is GOLD. Next game, circles on a bat 10 times, and make a proposal to Jojo. This might be my favorite game so far. Chad, on the other hand, is being a party pooper..and then called her naggy. WHAT???
MEN. MORE INFORMATION. NEVER USE WORDS TOWARDS A WOMAN THAT ARE INHERENTLY SEXIST. COME ON DUDE. Meanwhile, Jojo is questioning whether Chad is a good guy. In the real world, I would have put Jojo in a house and locked her away from this guy. She’s clearly losing her mind. Chad’s lost his mind thinking he’s got it in the bag as well. Somehow, he get’s second though. I’m starting to feel the same way about Chad that I feel about Trump, which is that I’m not gonna waste my time talking about nonsense.
Back at the group date dinner, alone time is on. James T. managed to bring Jojo to tears with his heartfelt note. Personally, I can’t disagree.
Chad, of course is complaining about everyone. For someone who claims he doesn’t know her, he definitely keeps deciding what she does and doesn’t like. I would be so terrified looking back on this airing if I were Jojo. Yet, somehow she called him honest, but at least she called him out for over-compensating. But, it seems like Jojo’s not really into him so maybe she has some brain left after all. The rose goes to…James! Thank god it’s not Chad. And he’s obviously very pissed. But James T. is so obviously over joyed, it’s really adorable.
Back at the house, the group is wondering what happened on the group date and where Chad is. Great question; he’s bombarded Jojo before the rose ceremony to pull her aside and have a private chat and kiss with her. Take about a faker. I really hope she doesn’t fall for it.
The guys confront Chad. Woot! And the dude has the shadiest responses ever. Daniel is on Chad’s side, which means Daniel needs to go too.
Chase didn’t get a date this week so he makes an adorable mini-date with fake snow and mittens complete. Very creative! Plus points, and Jojo’s obviously into it.
Chad cuts into Alex’s date, just to piss the other guys off. No bueno. He gets surrounded by the men again. I sense a fight again. But he leaves to go hang out with best buddy Daniel. This time he cuts off Evan’s conversation. Evan’s real mad and the guys are pretty riled up for him. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. So early in the season as well! Alex decides to confront him, and at this point, Chad really gets in his face and says Alex is “going to lose his teeth”. This dude needs to be in jail.
For real, I’m going to be so disappointed if Jordan S. has to go (Bachelor superfan). This dude’s commentary is so on point. He’s genuinely my favorite lines.
First rose: Alex
Second Rose: Christian
Third Rose: Robby
Fourth Rose: Luke
Fifth Rose: Chase
Sixth Rose: Jordan
Seventh Rose: Grant
Eight Rose: Ali
Ninth Rose: Daniel
Tenth Rose: James F.
Eleventh Rose: Nick
Twelfth Rose: Vinny
Thirteenth Rose: Evan
Fourteenth Rose: Chad
That means those eliminated are: James S., Brandon, and Will. I’m really upset about this, but hopefully Chad’s gone soon.
RB’s Psych Corner
Honestly, at this point, I’m fairly convinced that Chad is actually a wife beater with some serious childhood issues. His hypocrisy coupled with his extreme moods indicate that he has serious self-confidence issues, despite him telling us many, many times how confident he is. This is furthered by his individual criticism of every one of the men around him. The only way he seems to be able to feel masculine is to tell himself why the others aren’t, as well as validating why Jojo needs a man like him and saying what she does and doesn’t need. This is further indicative of a personality who objectifies women to the extreme. In other words, women are objects, don’t touch my stuff, I will beat you to a pulp if I feel my manhood is threatened. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. Ladies, take note on what TO avoid in this show.
As for everyone else: I’d love to say I have them figured out, but Chad has so much airtime with his general nonsense that I haven’t gotten a solid down yet. Hopefully, he leaves soon so I get some practice in!
I guess it’s two episodes next week so be prepared!
Hello People. Are you ready for the apocalypse? Because your favorite blogger has decided to do a pop-culture review of this season’s “The Bachelorette”. Why? I accidentally got sucked into the ridiculousness of last season’s “The Bachelor” (Seriously…they were all annoying EXCEPT for Jojo! She was too good for him anyways), and haven’t stopped complaining since (also my first time watching “The Bachelor”) So! I figured why not rant on here? So what I’ll be doing is AS I’m watching the newest episode (hopefully live), I’ll be recording my thoughts in a review-type format. It might not make sense now, but it will once you read it. Also, be very prepared for a very different perspective than what you’re used to seeing for this show.
I’d also take a look at this article because I feel like Linda Holmes might be my reality television spirit animal – Parade Of Goofballs 2016: Can JoJo Find A Prince In A Haystack? The title itself should be a dead give-away to the amazingness. Anyways, let’s begin!
Just a quick recap, Joelle “Jojo” Fletcher, is a 25 year old from Dallas, TX. She’s a Real Estate Developer. I don’t think anything else is important for the superficiality this show already presents.
So, we open with a re-cap of last season with Ben being his kind, but unbelievably boring self, but Jojo being amazing. Nothing new there. He lied to Jojo, but seriously, it’s “The Bachelor”, what did you expect?
We move forward to Jojo trying to convince herself that she’s moved on with some terribly choreographed shots in a garden and at the beach. These producers are actually the worst. She ends with “Bring on the men!” which for some inexplicable reason, made me smile.
So, let’s “bring on the men!” Real talk, Jojo has these perfect turtle earrings, and they just make me love her more. I can’t figure out what had to happen in her childhood to make her thing being on this show was a good idea…
1. Grant is a firefighter. Of course. He’s 28 and from SF, CA. He seems pretty genuine and educated so far. Let’s hope he doesn’t disappoint me too fast.
2. Jordan is a “Former Pro Quarterback”. He’s 27 and from Chico, CA. AARON RODGER’S BROTHER. As a football fan, I’m already his fan. He sees like he’s pretty responsible, so good for you buddy!
3. Alex is a US Marine. He’s 25 from Oceanside, CA. He’s got some weird “Top Gun” thing going on. He’s also a twin? I anticipate something weird potentially happening with that down the line.
4. James is a “Bachelor Superfan”. What kind of people does this show attract? He’s 27 from Pheonix, AZ. We got some people from outside of CA now! He’s also pretty weird… He’s like stalker-material right off the bat.
5. Evan is an “Erectile Dysfunction Specialist”. He’s 33 from Nashville, TN. This guy used to be a pastor, but he won my approval with his line: “I found a different way to lift people’s spirits”. HA. Good on you guy. I’m praying these puns continue. For a guy who’s excited to put “a pep in other guy’s steps”, he sure has a very somber walk. Which somehow, doesn’t match how excited he gets when he talks about Jojo. Whoa man. He even has “mojo for Jojo”. This is fantastic.
6. Ali is a bartender. He’s 27 from Santa Monica, CA. His family has immigrated from Iran, and his family seems to fill the typical immigrant stereotype – doctors and dentists. I’m sure he’s the disappointment of the century. I can relate being from an immigrant family as well. I feel you bro. On the other hand, his eye brows are pretty crazy.
7. Christian is a Telecom Consultant. He’s 26 from LA, CA. Right off the bat, he’s super peppy. And a little too into exercise it would seem. But a self-proclaimed geek, so let’s see how that works out. I’m usually a fan of geeks and dorks (being one myself) but self-proclaimed beefy dudes hardly are. He’s got a very sympathetic story about being bi-racial in a racist family. It tugs at the heart-strings, but I’m sure that’s what it was intended to do. Even more tugging-ly, he’s apparently raising his two brothers all by himself. He seems super grounded though, so that’s good!
8. Luke is a “War Veteran”. He’s 31 from Burnet, TX. On top of being a veteran, he’s apparently living a second-life as a rancher, with an entire pose leaning against a bright red barn. Let’s see where that goes.
So I guess there’s some weird editing thing going on where now she starts meeting all these introduced men? Already I’m seeing there’s going to be two types of guys. Idiots and non-idiots. Then again, I assume it’s the same every season? My favorite picks so far: Jordan, Evan, and below that, Christian!
So she meets Jordan first, who tells her that his parents got married after a couple of months and are married for over 30 years. That’s some good encouragement bud!
Derek is next. Who the hell is Derek?? Apparently, he’s not good enough to get a video?
9. Derek is a commercial banker. He’s 29 from Fort Lauderdale, FL.
Apparently he’s got Jojo’s attention with his looks. He mentions how
much he loves how grounded she is.
Grant’s next. He talks about how he’s not going to “be like Ben” and fall in love with 2 people at once. Why would you bring that up bro?? You don’t WANT to be associated with the guy who broke her heart! James swings up forgetting to mention his own name briefly. Good move. He does say “I didn’t come here for a rose, I came here for a relationship”. Super cheesy dude.
10. Robby is a former competitive swimmer. He’s 27 from Jacksonville, FL.
I’m biased towards his name…but he’s also immediately carrying a
bottle of wine. This either goes really good or really bad. He gives me
a bad feeling though. Oh wait, it’s justified – he’s offered her a chug
straight from the bottle… weird..
Alex swags in with a simple “wow” towards Jojo. He’s super polite but also forgets to give him name, followed by claiming how nervous he is.
11. Will is a civil engineer. He’s 26 from Jersey City, NJ. Will comes in
with notecards and promptly drops them all on the floor, calls himself
a train wreck, and then starts reading his notecards out of order. It’s
a cute quirkiness. I’m rooting for him!
12. Chad is a Luxury Real Estate Agent. He’s 28 from Tulsa, OK. I only know
Tulsa from Friends. That seemed like pertinent information, but I’m not
sure why. Chad is obviously not much of a talker. He’s going in my
idiots category off the bat.
13. Daniel is “Canadian”. He’s 31 from Vancouver. Far be it from be to tell
you how being Canadian is a profession, but at least we have a decent
chance of having someone amazing now!
Ali just looks like a goner in his first shot. But at least he makes a good first impression! …And now a guy with a guitar pops up out of nowhere. And it’s a terrible song…
14. James-Taylor is a singer-songwriter. He’s 29 from Katy, TX. This is
seriously, such a bad song. Poor Jojo keeps saying it’s good… I think
she sustained some brain damage from that noise.
15. Jonathan is a Technical Sales Rep. He’s 29 from Vancouver. And now we
have an Asian man in a kilt. Honestly, I have hope for the Canadian
team..kinda. His reasoning is that he’s half Chinese and half Scottish.
Apparently, his half-Scottish side is “below the waist”…he might have
just lost my vote with such a crude joke as a first impression. What
happened to being a respectful Canadian? He then tells her that he’s
not wearing any panties either… good lord…
He’s also very clearly making an impression with the other guys as well. Daniel’s apparently very upset with this as well. The kilt is apparently the equivalent of telling someone to “f— me”. What? Daniel that doesn’t even make sense dude. Seems like someone’s getting a little intimidated… by a guy in a kilt?
16. Saint Nick is literally “Father Christmas”. He’s 33 from the North Pole according to his bio. His laugh is literally “Jo-jo-jo-jo-jo”. Seriously ABC? Isn’t this a big gimmicky? He even has a present! What??
EDIT (6/6/16): We now know his real name is Nick B. and he is an Electrical Engineer! He’s 33 from Carthage, Illinois.
And goodness gracious Daniel has a mouth on him. he’s very unhappy with Santa and has some very choice, child-inappropriate words for him. Jordan was a perfect sweetheart about it. Still my favorite dude.
17. Chase is a medical sales rep. He’s 27 from Highlands Ranch, CO. He’s
got a VERY fake mustache on, with a lot of accompanied mustache puns
Meanwhile, Robby’s pointing out that there’s 2 types of guys here – the “classier” type that are probably more Jojo’s type, and the gimmicky type that are grabbing Jojo’s attention. Can’t agree with you more here buddy. As he’s saying classy, we pan to –
18. Jake is a landscape architect. He’s 27 from Playa Vista, CA. That’s it.
For gimmicky, we go to –
19. Sal is an Operation’s Manager. He’s 28 from Fort Lauderdale, FL. He has
blue balls – literally. He tells her that if she’s feeling stressed, he
can “squeeze his blue balls” and gives her blue stress balls.
and Robby then says that some guys say some cheesy lines and we pan to-
20. Coley is a real estate Consultant. He’s 27 from Chicago, Il. He hopes
to “take Jojo off the market”. But this dude looks like such a sleaze-
ball, I’m not entirely sure that’s going to happen.
and then some guys don’t have much to say at all –
21. Brandon is a “Hipster”. He’s 28 from LA, CA. He also doesn’t have a lot to say.
Robby basically summed it up pretty nicely. Good job dude!
James, The Bachelor Superfan shows up, and then Daniel says the line “There’s a lot of studs here…If I was gay, I’d be in paradise!”. That sums him up well. I’m very quickly learning to dislike him.
22. Nick S. is a software salesman. He’s 26 from SF, CA. He comes in, does the splits, and starts waltzing with Jojo! I personally find it adorable, but there’s a lot of commentary coming in from the other contestants and they’re not happy about this.
23. Vinny is a barber. He’s 28 from Delray Beach, FL. He says he didn’t
have time to pick up champagne, but he did prepare a toast. And it’s an
actual toast! Also cute. Other men still unhappy.
24. Peter is a staffing agency manager. He’s 26 from Chicago, IL. He brings
a giant heart and says he wants to be her “man crush monday”.
EVAN. He says “god bless america” when he sees her.
25. Wells is a radio DJ. He’s 31 from Nashville, TN. He proclaims that
she’s so out of his league the second he sees her. I’m gonna say not a
good start. Then he says he brought some friends. There’s 4 guys that
come out of the car, called “All for One” that start singing acapella
for her. He’s got that clutched!
Christian just rolled in on a motorcycle. She’s already proclaimed him the “bad boy”.
But wait, there’s more! Luke pulls up Jojo’s reference for her first impression with Ben. He rolls in on a white horse that he’s attached a horn to and proclaims that “he found her a unicorn!”. They’re really not pulling the stops here. He’s REALLY made a good impression on her!
Thank god! We’re done with the men now. Now onto the party!
There seems to be a consensus among the men that she’s the “hottest bachelorette ever”. That doesn’t seem to be scripted at all… They spend a good bit of time exploring her hotness. Chad remarks that her “dress is really bright”. I’m sure he’s not thinking of anything superficial at all. But it’s obviously reciprocal, because it seems that Jojo can only focus on the men’s mutual hotness.
One of the guys immediately pulls Jojo aside for some alone time. It’s Alex – the weird twin dude! (I can’t wait until elimination, so I don’t have to remember so many names). He’s already been called out for having a Napoleon complex, which might not be too far up since he starts doing push-ups for her immediately. Then again, the other guys seem to have their own issues too.
Derek’s up next. He’s proclaimed himself a nerd for “looking like Harry Potter”. That’s not a nerd dude.
Ali’s winning my favor with his cute humor though. Slowly, the guys meet her one by one and it doesn’t seem to be going well for anyone.
And then we get to JORDAN. This dude is smooth as hell. He’s already moving his hand up and down our shoulder. Real life, this shit would creep me out. But I guess it’s SUPER working for Jojo. There’s even hand holding going on! SCANDALOUS.
Will does a cute little fortune paper thing and gets a kiss, but apparently Jojo’s not digging it.
Jordan comes back in and goes for a HARD CORE kiss. Even more scandalous!
I’m not really caring about anyone else since they don’t have little name tags attached, and it’s too hard to remember their names.
Time for this thing called the “First Impression Rose”. I guess that means you can’t be eliminated that week. My money’s on Jordan.
Chad does a little mumble a says, “I have feelings…shut up.” Real mature dude… So it’s Chad’s turn now. He apparently comes off as vulnerable, and Jojo’s really into it. Literally watching him, on the other hand, I feel like throwing up. He continues to talk about how he’s a manlier version of Ben. He’s obviously super fake and pulling this superficial macho man thing. Guys, I can not explain this to you any more clearly. If you want an intelligent girl, DO NOT ACT LIKE A MACHO MAN. YOU COME OFF AS A DOUCHE. Moving forward…
Daniel’s not having a good time trying to explain a “Damn Daniel” joke. R.I.P. Brother…
Everyone’s starting to get pretty drunk… Things are definitely about to get interesting. I’m noticing Daniel has a SUPER Canadian accent. And then starts poking people in the belly button. Not good man. And now he starts stripping. Jojo really wants him to put clothes on. Instead, he’s jumped into the pool. Evan’s clearly got a good head on him. He’s really upset about the belly button thing though.
Ali is ADORABLE. He says he understands there’s a lot of pressure, but there’s better ways to deal with it than getting hammered. You go buddy! AND NOW HE’S PLAYING BEETHOVEN FOR JOJO. HELLZ YES.
Fun tangent: Saint Nick actually turns out to be very handsome. And apparently very normal. Good for the joke man!
James-Taylor is making a great impression too, talking about Texas with his Texas accent and what not.
As the show progresses, I’m realizing Jojo is very sweet, but not very smart..but incredibly personable! I guess that’s what you need in a Bachlorette?
Luke has a “silent, sexy confidence”. That’s good?
AND JORDAN HAS THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE.
I’m sure you can figure out the main points of the show from my all caps points.
At this point, we’re in an hour into a 90 minute show.
Chad’s talking about Jordan being a not great guy, an how he’s obviously still better. I have no idea what world he’s living in at this point.
ELIMINATION ROUND. LEGGO.
So there are 25 guys, and only 20 get a rose. My money’s on the following staying – 1. Jordan (obviously), 2. Chad (because you need a douche), 3. Ali (we need not-white people), 4. Evan (he’s too smart to let go immediately), 5. Luke (she liked him too much), 6. Alex (she has a thing for servicemen), 7. Christian (bad-boy turned nice thing going on?), 8. James-Taylor (token Texas person), 9. Saint Nick (he’s too weird to let go), 10. Robby (his commentary was too spot on and he got too much air-time), 11. Wells (he has a freaking acapella group), and 12. it pretty much doesn’t matter at this point but let’s go with Vinny just because. 13 – 20. Everyone except Daniel, Jonathan, Chase, Coley, and Brandon.
Right before the first rose is given, a random stranger walks in! Who is it??? Jake Povelka, a former Bachelor, and apparently a close family friend of Jojo’s? It’s of course a ploy by ABC to add random suspense for no reason. He just came to reassure her. I hate your ploys ABC. It’s only episode 2 and I’m already tired of you. Be prepared for me to break-up with you after this season.
First Rose: Luke
Second Rose: Wells
Third Rose: James-Taylor
Fourth Rose: Grant
Fifth Rose: Derek
Sixth Rose: Christian
Seventh Rose: Chad
Eight Rose: Chase
Ninth Rose: Alex
Tenth Rose: Robby
Eleventh Rose: Brandon
Twelfth Rose: James F.
Thirteenth Rose: Ali
Fourteenth Rose: Saint Nick
Fifteenth Rose: Will
Sixteenth Rose: James S.
Seventeenth Rose: Vinny
Eighteenth Rose: Evan
Ninetieth Rose (and final): Daniel
So those eliminated were: Jake, Jonathan, Coley, Peter, Nick, and Sal.
Next episode, let’s go!