The Bachelorette Season 12: A Review (Part 2)

Episode 2! Let’s go!

Chad starts off saying how awesome he is. I have a feeling this confidence is going to be his down fall.

New rule: if you don’t get a rose on a one-on-one, you immediately get sent home. Goodness, that’s a lot of pressure.

Luke, Grant, Will, Evan, Daniel, Vinny, Ali, James F., Wells, and Robby all get a group date.

The guys run out to see a limo on fire and blowing up. a fire engine comes, and ABC is obviously up to their antics again. Obviously, dumb cheesy lines about how hot Jojo is follow.

Chad calls the guys who went on the date “B” material. I’m going to be real happy when this guy leaves. He then proceeded to full up a suitcase with weights and do pull ups with a weight belt. The men are not impressed and begin to call him a “meathead”. Personally, I feel like he would fit in well in “Jersey Shore”.

Meanwhile on the date, the 10 guys have to compete in a firefighter competition and then the top 3 get to compete for a personal date with Jojo. Grant, is in fact, a real firefighter. I feel like he might be at an advantage. Daniel makes a joke about “pulling hose at his apartment”. Gross. Wells, meantime is having an incredibly difficult time breathing and everyone’s noticing. But it gets him alone time with Jojo.

At the house, the boys have all composed an adorable song for Jojo, except for Chad of course who’s too cool for it.

Luke, Grant and Wells all end up in the final 3 to compete for Jojo’s extra time. Wells himself is laughing at himself being picked. He gets adorable points.

Grant (thankfully and would’ve been embarrassing for him) wins the competition and Luke doesn’t take it well. Especially when the kissing starts.

Jojo gives some scripted line about how Grant is a hero.

Back at the house, Derek gets the one-on-one. I’m pretty sure Jojo’s taking the previous Bachelorette’s advice and picking time with the guys who she is not too into.

Back at the group date, alone time with the rest of the guys begins. Wells is winning lots of points with his humor and gentleness! Go Wells!! Luke is still moping, but it’s also probably the editing. I trust ABC to make things unnecessarily nonsensical. But he starts talking about his previous relationships and starts seeming super genuine. Dude seems like he might just have possessiveness issues (in the real world of course).

So my money is on Wells for the rose. Annddd… I’m right! And Luke is pissed. He might be leaving tonight.

Derek is getting ready for his date, but he doesn’t really fit her “bad boy” or “overly nice and boring” guy quality, so he might be getting eliminated. That being said, he’s very sweet! Hope this works out for you kid. They have a weird gimmicky date and end up on a plane, heading towards San Francisco. She’s really liking him though and that’s a good sign for the normal people in the world!

Another scripted line and another kiss later, we end up back at the house with Daniel and Chad complaining about everyone being “too nice”. They both need to leave ASAP.

Jordan, Christian, Nick, James T., Alex, and Chad all have a group date. The three guys left out are bummed, but Chad brings in some real world wisdom by saying how “they’ve gone their whole lives without seeing Jojo. [They] can chill”. Dropping the wisdom bomb my man; except it is a competition, you know?

Jojo and Derek are on a dinner date and she’s really into him. Good for you girlie! Go for normal! He’s also a super solid listener. That’s hard to find. It’s too many good things on a date man. It’s making me very suspicious. But he gets the rose, so that’s great!

New group date and they’re at the ESPN studios. Update: everyone hates Chad. Big surprise. The competition is basically a touchdown dance with a  rose. Chad’s coming in with saying the best thing about Jordan is Aaron Rodgers; the worst thing is that he’s not Aaron. This dude is fundamentally rubbing me the wrong way. These editors are geniuses but they can only work so much with the material they have and this material is GOLD. Next game, circles on a bat 10 times, and make a proposal to Jojo. This might be my favorite game so far. Chad, on the other hand, is being a party pooper..and then called her naggy. WHAT???

MEN. MORE INFORMATION. NEVER USE WORDS TOWARDS A WOMAN THAT ARE INHERENTLY SEXIST. COME ON DUDE. Meanwhile, Jojo is questioning whether Chad is a good guy. In the real world, I would have put Jojo in a house and locked her away from this guy. She’s clearly losing her mind. Chad’s lost his mind thinking he’s got it in the bag as well. Somehow, he get’s second though. I’m starting to feel the same way about Chad that I feel about Trump, which is that I’m not gonna waste my time talking about nonsense.

Back at the group date dinner, alone time is on. James T. managed to bring Jojo to tears with his heartfelt note. Personally, I can’t disagree.

Chad, of course is complaining about everyone. For someone who claims he doesn’t know her, he definitely keeps deciding what she does and doesn’t like. I would be so terrified looking back on this airing if I were Jojo. Yet, somehow she called him honest, but at least she called him out for over-compensating. But, it seems like Jojo’s not really into him so maybe she has some brain left after all. The rose goes to…James! Thank god it’s not Chad. And he’s obviously very pissed. But James T. is so obviously over joyed, it’s really adorable.

Back at the house, the group is wondering what happened on the group date and where Chad is. Great question; he’s bombarded Jojo before the rose ceremony to pull her aside and have a private chat and kiss with her. Take about a faker. I really hope she doesn’t fall for it.

The guys confront Chad. Woot! And the dude has the shadiest responses ever. Daniel is on Chad’s side, which means Daniel needs to go too.

Chase didn’t get a date this week so he makes an adorable mini-date with fake snow and mittens complete. Very creative! Plus points, and Jojo’s obviously into it.

Chad cuts into Alex’s date, just to piss the other guys off. No bueno. He gets surrounded by the men again. I sense a fight again. But he leaves to go hang out with best buddy Daniel. This time he cuts off Evan’s conversation. Evan’s real mad and the guys are pretty riled up for him. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. So early in the season as well! Alex decides to confront him, and at this point, Chad really gets in his face and says Alex is “going to lose his teeth”. This dude needs to be in jail.

For real, I’m going to be so disappointed if Jordan S. has to go (Bachelor superfan). This dude’s commentary is so on point. He’s genuinely my favorite lines.

Elimination round!

First rose: Alex
Second Rose: Christian
Third Rose: Robby
Fourth Rose: Luke
Fifth Rose: Chase
Sixth Rose: Jordan
Seventh Rose: Grant
Eight Rose: Ali
Ninth Rose: Daniel
Tenth Rose: James F.
Eleventh Rose: Nick
Twelfth Rose: Vinny
Thirteenth Rose: Evan
Fourteenth Rose: Chad

That means those eliminated are: James S., Brandon, and Will. I’m really upset about this, but hopefully Chad’s gone soon.

RB’s Psych Corner

Honestly, at this point, I’m fairly convinced that Chad is actually a wife beater with some serious childhood issues. His hypocrisy coupled with his extreme moods indicate that he has serious self-confidence issues, despite him telling us many, many times how confident he is. This is furthered by his individual criticism of every one of the men around him. The only way he seems to be able to feel masculine is to tell himself why the others aren’t, as well as validating why Jojo needs a man like him and saying what she does and doesn’t need. This is further indicative of a personality who objectifies women to the extreme. In other words, women are objects, don’t touch my stuff, I will beat you to a pulp if I feel my manhood is threatened. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. Ladies, take note on what TO avoid in this show.

As for everyone else: I’d love to say I have them figured out, but Chad has so much airtime with his general nonsense that I haven’t gotten a solid down yet. Hopefully, he leaves soon so I get some practice in!

I guess it’s two episodes next week so be prepared!