The Bachelorette Season 12: A Review (Part 3)

Ok! So we’ll have 2 episodes in 2 days! Other than that, let’s get rolling!

So everyone wakes up to a trashed house. No surprise with the antics that happened.

The bromance between Daniel and Chad continues to develop. I personally suggest they drop Jojo and just date each other. This isn’t a normal bromance either. It’s a BRO-mance. Working out all day son!

Once again, Chad is super confident that he’s awesome. I just want to see his tiny little dreams crushed at this point.

Chase gets the one-on-one with Jojo, but obviously Chad is confused. Dude has the insight of a snail, I swear.

So Chase didn’t have a date last week, so he gets a chance this week. That being said, if he doesn’t get a rose, IMMEDIATE elimination. And they end up at a Yoga studio. AND ONE OF MY PEOPLE IS THE INSTRUCTOR.

Back at the house, Chad and Daniel are working out. Totally unexpected. Evan, however, agrees with me that these two belong together.

Back at yoga, somehow a yoga pose turned into a sexy make-out session. Of course this situation was totally planned as Jojo ended up straddling him as a yoga pose. They have dinner afterwards and the sparks are real here. Honestly, Chase is such a down to earth guy. I’m a fan. He opens up and tells Jojo that he comes from a family of divorce. And the dude gets a rose! And they walk out onto the patio to a private concert and obviously more unfiltered making out. I honestly don’t know how she doesn’t feel weird about making out with several dudes at the same time.

Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Vinny, Nick, Evan, Alex, Chad all get on the group date. Chad then declares he doesn’t want to go on a group date. And let the drama ensue. Evan offers to cross off Chad’s name on the card so “he doesn’t have to go” and Chad tells him to shut his mouth. Jordan then drops some gold and says that if they have to have teams, he hopes that the team Chad is on is a benchpress competition and not a spelling competition. I love this kid. Obviously this riles Chad up, and calls Jordan a “27-year-old failed football player who’s done nothing with his life except toss around a piece of leather”. Alex then says Chad went to far and that he’s a “piece of shit” and Chad retorts that Alex is a “25-year-old piece of shit right there”. The rest of the guys are soaking this up and just sipping on their drinks. I would be too honestly.

Derek, James, Luke and Robby all don’t get on the group date. Alex comments that he’s excited to go on a date with “10 guys, 1 douchebag, a beautiful girl and himself”. More golden lines. Grant comments that he thinks Chad is going to say some comment and Alex is going to jump down his throat, which honestly isn’t too far off from my own prediction. Either that or Evan somehow gets punched, just due to his amazing snakiness towards Chad. You go Evan!

The group date is at a theater. And lo and behold, it’s a performance! My kind of date! Never mind, it’s a show called “Sex Talks” that makes the guys talk about their sex stories. This is gonna be amazing. But Chad doesn’t want anything to do with it. Somehow, Daniel is on the “right side” and trying to convince Chad that if he likes Jojo, just do at least a 1 minute long story. Chad, however, is getting VERY defensive, even against his best bro. Evan has decided to just call out Chad for his story. I BELIEVE IN YOU EVAN.

Grant’s story: 16 years old, wants to have sex and 30 seconds into it, has a spotlight on him. The cops put him in jail but the best part was that he got sex! He was adorably excited about this story.

Nick’s story: 16 years old and the first time he had oral he didn’t know what to do so he drew out the alphabet with his tongue. Gold.

They skip over some of the stories but they seem hilarious.

And Evan’s up! Alex is super excited for this. He starts talking about “the dangers of using steroids” – irritability, withdrawal from people, saying things like “the girl I’m trying to date is nagging me”. So he’s basically implying that Chad is using steroids. When Evan comes back, he gives Jojo a hug and Chad just grabs him by the shirt collar and pulls him back sharp. (Here, we finally learn that Nick is an Electrical Engineer!). So Chad does go up, and he says he needs a volunteer, so he calls up Jojo. He tries to kiss her on stage and she just straight up turns away. YES. PROGRESS. Alex: “Crash and burn brother!” On their way out, Chad just punches the door. Evan and Alex are chest bumping. So cute! But Chad walks and in and grabs Evan by the throat and says “Dude, you’re going to die”. What the hell dude?? And Daniel’s standing up for Evan, what?? Daniel’s like a new man! Meanwhile, Chad’s knuckles are bleeding from hitting the door. Jordan calls him out for roid rage.

They’re at dinner now and Jordan and Jojo are having their alone time. He opens up about his previous relationship. Next up is Alex, Vinny, Wells, and Nick. Chad saunters in and asks for some time, but Jojo immediately says “he just sat down”. Good job girl! Chad starts talking about how he’s not mad at Evan because of his story, but some nonsense about how Chad wanted to pass by him and Evan just pushed him away. He then starts talking about how he doesn’t ever “start anything”. Sure dude. Evan asks for an apology, and Chad starts telling Evan that Evan is bullying Chad and that he wants Evan to stay away from him. This just keeps getting more and more nonsensical. I can’t imagine that this isn’t scripted. Immediately, all the guys get up and walk away from Chad and Evan. Chad says that “Evan had his chance at love. He has 3 kids”, as though that validates that Evan shouldn’t be there?

Back at the house, Luke is spot on in guessing the group date isn’t going well. James T. gets the next individual date.

Chad’s still complaining that a lot of the guys have “no chance at all” and they’re “a parade of losers”. That being said, Chad is just hovering around all the alone time dates and spends his time bashing the guys individually. He’s giving her “a breather” apparently. Sure dude, that’s definitely what you’re doing. Chad’s turn and he immediately tells Jojo he didn’t want to come on the group date. She (obviously) seems taken aback. Evan then cuts off their conversation, and Chad is upset about it (as though he’s never done that to any of the guys). He straight up calls Jojo out and says that if Chad stays, that he wants to leave. Bold move. You really don’t see that happen often, I feel. Jojo is unhappy hearing this.

Before she hands out the rose, she wants to talk to Evan alone. SUPER CRAZY TURN OF EVENTS: She gives Evan the rose! WHAT? I was so sure the producers wouldn’t have it!

What’s Chad’s reaction going to be? I assume not good (per usual). Chad is giving dagger eyes, and Jojo point blank asks if he’s ok in the middle of her speech. He says “Is this real? Are you joking?” Oh goodness. Hopefully, she drops him like a fly tonight. She immediately calls him out for being disrespectful. She just gets up and leaves, which is probably not a good sign. Chad says “no girl on planet earth chooses Evan”. He’s super pissed. He says he wants to punch another door. Honestly, I’m very concerned for the guy’s health.

The next morning, Derek says he no longer feels safe sleeping in the same room as Chad. Shocking. Fun fact: There’s now a security guard on the premises to keep Chad in line. That’s always a good sign. Honestly, shame on the producers for allowing him to stay in the first place. If he’s endangering your other contestants, I don’t care what kind of show it is, dude’s got to go.

James T. and Jojo are on a date where they’re dressed in 1950s clothing.They’re going dancing! They meet an adorable old woman, that met her husband through dancing.

At the house, Daniel’s still being very sensible. Very weird. But good on you man! You’re changing my opinion! Please don’t mess it up. And OH MY GOODNESS, Daniel just called out Chad for being out of control! Dude’s on a roll! Good job buddy! I’m thoroughly impressed. And he just compared Chad to Hitler, Mussolini, Trump and W. Bush. Fantastic!

Back on the date, things are going well! But then Jojo’s being dumb and saying she doesn’t know if there’s any chemistry. Come on dude. Going for the bad boys is not the right thing to do. James opens up about being made fun of as a kid and how he defaults to setting girls he likes up with his best friend. That’s actually super endearing. GIRLS: Look for a dude who always looks out for you before himself! This kid is an absolute sweetheart.

At the house the next day, Chad is working out hard core. Nothing new. The rose ceremony is tonight and the guys are nervous. And Jojo decides that she doesn’t want a cocktail party tonight and go straight into the rose ceremony. The trade off is that she’s wanting an all day pool party. Personally, I feel like this wasn’t “Jojo’s decision”, but the “producer’s want ratings” decision. Chad is feeling jealous that the other guys get to see her in a bathing suit. “I can tell what she probably looks like in a bathing suit through her dress”. Not creepy at all… Evan immediately follows Chris (the host) out the door, and starts telling Chris about the issues with Chad. Chris pulls Chad aside afterwards, but Chad says none of the incidents have been his fault. Chris tells Chad he has to apologize, and Chad doesn’t take it well. Literally after that talk, he tells the camera that he’s willing to beat someone up if he needs to.

And of course, we end on that note! We’ll do “RB’s Psych Corner” and continue the drama tomorrow!